Friday, September 19, 2003

Uncertainty Sucks

It seems like many major major things are up in the air right now, and it is driving me crazy. I hate uncertainty. Tragedy I can deal with, joy too. But that knife edge you ride before you know which of the two it is going to be is enough to have me pulling out what little hair the post-partum hormonal stew hasn't already taken care of...

Least critical but still annoyingly uncertain thing on the long list-- whether my brother is going to show up here today, and whether he is bringing La Viper with him.

It turns out his sicko gorlfriend just told him she was pregnant with someone else's child as a test. I think that's not only cruel but stupid and I have a hard time deciding when to believe an admitted liar. Was it just a ploy, or did she get rid of an inconvenience? I feel like shreiking "Have you ever heard of birth control or AIDS?!?" I'm not sure I believe this latest retraction, because why wouldn't the test involve it being HIS kid? Why go as far as she did with the lie? Who knows. I used to stick up for her and give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I have major misgivings. And my brother appears willing to blithely accept the "explanation" and take her back. Which may well be a case of seeing what you want to see... It is his life, his relationship, his risk to take. I can only wish him well.

But I would rather not have La Viper sitting on my couch cooing at my baby.

Anyway.

It would be really nice if I knew who was coming, and when, if at all.

Sigh.

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