TFMB-The Total Fucking Moron Brigade (TM)

What a long, strange trip its been...

I am surrounded by stupidity, flanked by fools, drowning in dumbshit.

I can continue the alliteration, or describe the idiocy...

Tuesday Sept. 9th:

Having asked our mortgage broker not less than five times whether I needed to be at the closing, or provide dear spouse with a power of attorney (to which the answer was very definitively "No!" each time), dear spouse arrives at the closing, only to be greeted by a halfwit chorus of: "Where's your wife? We can't do this without her!"

(Picture me doing a primal scream that can be heard three states away...)

So, for what must be the first time in the history of real estate closings, they allow Kev to sign and then bring the papers home to me for signature, after I telephonically tear them a new one...

Wednesday September 10th:

Kevin sits home from work, awaiting a fed ex of a final few closing documents. He is planning on sticking around to receive them, accompanying me to the bank to get my signature notarized, and then heading into NYC to work, and to drop the docs at a FedEx outpost somewhere.

Tra-la-fucking-lovely, except the assorted real estate mavens, whose collective brain activity would measure lower than that of most coma patients, never sent the documents out!

It was a good thing he called, or he'd have sat here all day waiting, we'd have missed the notary, and he'd have to miss another day's work tomorrow.

So, off we head to the bank, and we think, notarization nirvana.

Oh, no. This is when we discover that we truly live in a one horse town.

The bank does not have a notary.

Neither does the other bank, three pharmacies, a CPA's office, an insurance agent, or the post office. We finally do locate one, at the one remaining pharmacy. But, we are informed, prescriptions come first, so you may have to wait.

We wait and wait and wait some more, but then it is done. Four hours later.

Thursday, Sept. 11th:

I am triggered beyond bearing, as well as desolately sad. I went to work one day and nearly got killed. So I tend to feel connected to the poor unsuspecting people at their desks in the Towers two years ago...

I post a memorial tribute off my family's main website, which I will not link here due to the lawsuit crap, because there are actually people with nothing better to do than track my steps around the internet in an effort to further harass me and abuse me because I dared to sue their asses for trying to kill me. And people who are pissed at me for speaking the truth, who think I should muzzle myself out of fear of reprisals. My compromise to them is the relative anonymity of this blog...

Nevertheless, I agree to meet with my lawyer that evening to discuss my accident-at-work case. Large mistake.

More than the date conspires to make it a harrowing day. My lawyer proceeds to heap unbelievable abuse on me, which continues for days, and still isn't resolved. The worst part about that is that he is someone I called my friend.

I spend the night dreaming plane crashes.

Friday September 13th:

My lawyer threatens to fuck up my case if I don't increase his fee. He also suggests that, if I refuse to agree to his demands, he will deem me incompetent/insane, and usurp control over the case, because I "can't act in my own best interests."

Them's fightin' words!

Saturday and Sunday:

Fighting.

In other news, my son ate his first solid food and is beginning to sit up unsupported. He also sucked on his toes for the first time ever. I discovered that, despite being old, broken down and fat, I can still stick my foot in my mouth. Aren't you thrilled for me?


Monday: That would be today. My lawyer is a jerk. I am surrounded by jerks. The closing is STILL not finalized, because the idiot bank forgot one more form they need signed.

I hereby form the TOTAL FUCKING MORON BRIGADE (TM), a society in which membership is conferred by nomination by yours truly. I think I will have Tshirts made, and give them out to deserving inductees. Whether I shall be subtle and design a logo using only the acronym, or use the full organizational title, remains to be seen...