TFMB Inductees: Umbrella Underoo and Ablebodied Assbag

Two total morons recently crashed into my life and were noteworthy enough to mention here for posterity.

It rained today, and I was not really surprised when using the restroom at a Big Bookstore Chain today when the occupant of the next stall started to set her umbrella down against the adjoining wall. However, when she subsequently decided to pick it up and intrude it so far into my stall that it was on my pants leg, I gave it a gentle push back in her direction. This cow did not take the hint. No, she lifted it higher and proceeded to poke around in my stall with it until she managed to put the drippy stanky thing *in my pants*! At which point I said "Excuse me, I do not need your umbrella in my underwear!" Her reaction? She leapt up and fled.

Boggle. WTF, woman?

Did someone drop you off here from outer space? Do you have no prior experience with public restrooms?

You sit in your little box and take care of your business. You do not intrude into the next little box, whether from under or over or any other possible point of entry. You do not speak to, or make contact with, the person next to you unless it is to ask for a few sheets of toilet paper. This is not social hour or show and tell, you freak.

It is certainly not an open invitation to place your parasol in my panties, you umbrella in my underwear, your regenshirm in my rump cover. What the hell were you thinking?

You are indeed a total fucking moron, and here is your award on the internet.

TFMB Inductee number 2 is the whack job who parked next to me in the crosshatches.

I have a disability plackard. The crosshatches are so mobility impaired people have room to get in and out of their vehicles.

Not so you only have to waddle three feet to pick up your take out order when it is ready.

And no, unlike standing in a no parking zone, it really doesn't matter that your entitled able bodied ass is *in* your vehicle while you are illegally parked in the cross hatches.

Your screaming at me when I told you as much, complete with profanity, obscenity and taking pictures of my registration, which I viewed as enough of a threat to call the cops on your stupid ass, do not magically entitle you to park there.

I hope the tickets that you reap with this asshattery bankrupt you and that karma bites you in your nasty ass.