Happy Thanksgiving!

Family Drama, Continued and Thanksgiving Blessings

My Mom came up on Saturday afternoon, and stayed till Tuesday afternoon. She is absolutely crazy in love with her grandson. She spoiled him rotten, and drove me a little crazy, because she gets hyper-anxious any time the boy cries. So I have two people to worry about and try to comfort, rather than one. Nevertheless, she is a cool gramma, and I am so glad she came.

My Dad is not speaking to her, because she had the nerve to go through with her plans to visit, even though he was having dental problems. Had she stayed home there is nothing she could have done to help with his teeth, except listen to him bitch and moan. Which is apparently what he wanted. He's pissed she left him alone and in pain. She's pissed he acts like such a big baby, and is jealous of a seven month old...

So, it is gonna be a chilly holiday at their place tomorrow....

Sunday night, my MIL announced she was going to come here for Turkey Day after all. Monday I went out and bought a ton of food. Last night, she cancelled again...

So, its jst gonna be me, Kev and Mikro, watching the parade on TV and relaxing and stuffing ourselves with too much food, and feeling sad that Mikro's grandparents won't be here. But that is their choice. And I am going to make the best of the day for our little nuclear family despite it.

Obviously, at the top of my list of things to be thankful for is my healthy, happy, adorable little boy. And his Daddy.

My Mom called last night and asked to talk to Kev. Last time that happened they were asking his permission to give me a dog (which they had already bought). So I really wondered if I was getting a GSD puppy to train for service dog work, given my dog's medical retirement.

Nope.

She just wanted to tell my husband that she thinks he is a wonderful father, and how good he is for her daughter, and that he is on her list of Thanksgiving blessings.

How cool is that?

In case I don't get online tomorrow, I just want to wish everyone a happy and healthy Thanksgiving, and to say that I am so very thankful for the wonderful friends I have, online and off!

Now off to de-crankify Mikro...

Not having a good day...

I'm in a foul mood. Its a combination of old fashioned cabin fever and my-family-betrayed-me-again funk. And it doesn't help that I got cheated out of the supposed benefit to me of exclusive breastfeeding. Eight weeks of lochia, a four week break, and then boom, back to regular cycles. So PMS is probably a contributor in my black mood.

I can't wait to get together with the Crazy Artists Club. We are really good at cheering each other up...

I just hope I don't depress them!

Hope and Faith (of the Heart)

A small excerpt from the lyrics to the theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise (the extended version of the song), Faith of the Heart :

[[[THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED TO REMOVE THE LYRICS AT THE INSISTENCE OF MY DEAR SPOUSE, WHO SAYS POSTING THEM IS AKIN TO COURTING TROUBLE FROM THE FUCKING RIAA ASSHATS, WHO SUE LITTLE KIDS FOR DOWNLOADING MUSIC. APPARENTLY, THEIR NEXT TARGET IS GOING TO BE PEOPLE WHO POST LYRICS. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN GET IN TROUBLE FOR POSTING THE WORDS TO A SONG, WHICH YOU CREDIT TO SOMEONE ELSE, BUT SUCH IS THE FUCKED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN. AND I HAVE TROUBLE ENOUGH WITHOUT THOSE FUCKERS GETTING INVOLVED IN MY LIFE. THIS GOES WAY BEYOND MY INTERPRETATION OF COPYRIGHT, BUT I DON"T NEED A LAWSUIT. HEY, RIAA ASSHATS-- I BOUGHT THE FUCKING CD AFTER I READ THE LYRICS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S WEB SITE, BECAUSE I LIKED WHAT THE SONG SAYS. ITS FREE FUCKING ADVERTISING, IDIOTS. BUT I BOW TO YOUR IN TERROREM TACTICS.]]]

It's a song I used to sing alot when I was pregnant with Mikro. [[[OH SHIT-- DOES THAT BUY ME A FUCKING LAWSUIT? SINGING A SONG TO MY KID? IS THAT WHAT'S NEXT??? AM I STILL LIVING IN AMERICA??? ]]] He recognizes it. It's what I wish for him -- that he never ever lose faith in himself and his dreams.

It's hard for me to remember to wish it for myself. It fit Me Before The Accident. But it really doesn't fit Me Now, because the accident cost me alot of dreams. I am a pretty negative person alot of the time, and I have to fight that tendency constantly.


But it goes along with a favorite artist quote of mine:

	It is a huge danger to pretend 

	that awful things do not happen.

        	But you need enough hope to keep going. 

        	I am trying to make hope. 

        	Flowers grow out of darkness.



			-- Corita Kent

So that is the goal I strive towards. Trying to make hope... in spite of my last entry...

Generally I end up singing this song in tears, and hugging my precious little son, who is my Faith of the Heart.

OK, enough of me and my weird mood. Time to feed the kidlet.

[[[HAVING HAD TO MAKE THESE REVISIONS, THE INSPIRATION, HOPE AND FAITH THE SONG BROUGHT ME NOW FEELS KIND OF HOLLOW. HERE WE GO BACK TO DEPRESSION CENTRAL...]]]

The Artist's Way...

I'm about to take another stab at doing Julia Cameron's Artist's Way program, because I need something to get me off my behind and back in my studio... Which ain't easy with The Boy, but I haven't really even tried lately...

So, I started a new blog, which will focus on my artwork, at Brushstrokes & Breastmilk.

I failed miserably at the NANOWRIMO novel in a month gig, but I really do need to get back to a routine of writing and painting. Only maybe not at such an ambitious pace. I got way too stressed over the deadline and froze. So, I'm punting on NANO this year, and just going to try to take small steps forward on the creative stuff...

Signs of sanity???

I am having lunch tomorrow with my group of local artist friends, affectionately known as the Crazy Artists Club. All of us have been in the creative doldrums lately, and we haven't gotten together in ages. Maybe we can kick each other in the seat of the pants and all get moving again.

That's my hope for tomorrow. That and a baby who naps frequently....